I hope my PPE is enough

Asadullah, CT

There is a middle-age woman without any other medical problems that just came to my care and tested positive for COVID19.  Very recently, she had been caring for patients and tending to their needs in a healthcare facility. Due to the national shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE), she was limited in who she could wear a mask for and likely got exposed during her high-risk work. Now she is here in front of me, with supplemental oxygen hanging under her nose, but still struggling to breathe. Her lab work just came back. It does not look good. Despite the device forcing oxygen into her nose, both of her lungs are too damaged by the SARS-COV-2 to extract the oxygen from the air. I must tell her she has to be intubated and forced into a medically induced coma. I look at the two brown paper lunch bags in front of me. One with my face shield and another with my N95 respirator. Despite their approval for single use only, I am forced to reuse them from patient to patient - putting them and myself at risk for exposure. My meticulous and surgical approach to putting on my PPE is sharply juxtaposed with brown paper lunch bags and reused masks. I put my hands on her door, take a deep breath, and enter, hoping my PPE is sufficient.